Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Randomize
