i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
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