some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
Randomize
