Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
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