how hairy? two words: wookie tits
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
Randomize
