problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
Randomize
