yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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