based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
Randomize
