I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
Randomize
