Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
