I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
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