Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
Randomize