I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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