After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
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