The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
Holy sore nipples Batman
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
Randomize
