I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
Randomize
