My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
Did we literally take a cab across the street
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
