I will die if light touches me.
Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
Randomize