I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
Randomize
