Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
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