as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize
