In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
Randomize
