one two three fourrrrnication!
i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Randomize
