So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
Randomize
