Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
should my penis look like a turkey
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Randomize
