Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize