yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
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