Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
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