Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
Boobs speak an international language.
Vodka?
Forever.
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
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