im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
*swallows 40 gallons of heavy water and astral projects into buzzfeed* Top Ten Reasons Why I Am God
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
Randomize
