i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize