haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
i'm the matthew mcconaghey of this party. i'm too old, and too high.
I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
