IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Randomize
