I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Randomize
