So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
Randomize
