I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
be right there i have to get my cape
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Randomize
