first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize
