i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
He? As in you personified your dick?
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
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