I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
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