so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
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