I woke up this morning in a strange bed with a kid with an accent playing with my feet.
wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
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