I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
Randomize
