Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
i am craving dick and cupcakes
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize