i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
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