The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize
