She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
how drunk are you?
Several
Randomize
