Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
