Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
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