i'm signing you up for texting rehab
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
Randomize
