Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
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