Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
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