her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
Impromptu road trip to New Orleans for four days of Mardi Gras. I'll probably be alive and back for Valentine's Day plans, probably won't stick my dick in some random either-might be using my free pass you cheating asshat. Love you. Expect random texts & probably a drunk dial or twelve. You did this to yourself. You're not invited so don't bother. Have fun at work.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
