i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
did that guy on the oscars really just tell me to text a dolphin?
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
Randomize
