You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Randomize
