KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
Randomize
