Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Randomize
