I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize