Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
Randomize
