Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
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