Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
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