the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
I just got this text "hi this is Julie, I met you last night in the bathroom. You asked me to text you and remind you that you ate an entire lime, because you figured your sober self in the morning would be confused."
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
Randomize
