I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
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