There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
Randomize
