my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
Randomize
